Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
