If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
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If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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