some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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