So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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