is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize