mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
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It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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