New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
