...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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