Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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