3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
