now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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