why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
