I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
