i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize