you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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