hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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