he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I pour the whiskey from now on
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
