My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
