I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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