i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
