he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
