Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
