i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
