OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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