Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
