Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
