what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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