I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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