he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
