I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
