Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
