she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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