I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
