Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
