Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
