You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
