I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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