Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
