i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
