I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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