i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
