is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
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Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???