Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck