Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.