His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
