My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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