Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
