Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have fence marks all over my body
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
