last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
