Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
