There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
