My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he thought i was a dude.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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