I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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