She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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