Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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