yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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