They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
