I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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