Sponge bath it is.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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