Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize