break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize