She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
