hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He shit in the fireplace
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
