the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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