He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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