Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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